WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have aggressive nipples.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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