dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dignity is for republicans.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
