I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
