No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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