So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
