She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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