When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
