How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
