They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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