i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
