how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
