People with herpes should wear stickers.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
