He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
