i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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