By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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