my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
