I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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