i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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