did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
