Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
