no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
