It's a beautiful day for a hangover
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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