She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
