remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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