God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
