Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
