Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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