Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
