Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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