Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
