oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
