you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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