that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
