Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
this hospital has no fireball
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
