plz talk dirty to me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
