if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
