Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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