He disabled his match.com account in front of me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
