omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
