Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
