i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
