I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
