I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
