im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
