Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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