just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
