you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
