I want to stick my p in your. b.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
