What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
