I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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